20 Minutes

There is an exercise in a book that I am reading that says to take 20 minutes and just write.  Write about whatever comes to mind.  I guess that is what journaling is and I am assuming that one could say that blogging is the same thing.  So, here I go.  

I am going through an interesting phase of my life at this time.  It seems like I am just thirsting for knowledge or something.  I told Chris the other day that I feel a sense of something but just can't put my finger on it.  He gave me some wonderful advice, go with that feeling and pray and meditate and you will get the answer.  That "wowed" me.  He is so right for teaching and I can't wait until he becomes Pastor, uh Bubba?  Ha, Jessie will love saying that.  

Speaking of Jessie, she and Charlie came over Sunday and spent time with us.  We watched a movie and just enjoyed being  together.   I shake my head every time I think that she only has one more year of college.  Wow, time has just flown by.  I am kind of anxious, though, to see what direction her life takes once she graduates and starts her new journey.  I know that whatever she does, she will do it well.  She is just that kind of person.  

The start to this day has been wonderful.  I woke up early and actually listened to a meditation CD that I have.  Got up and walked straight to my dresser and picked up my mother's bible.  It is in the case that I bought her a long time ago just sitting on my dresser.  She had a little book in the front of it with the "FOOTPRINTS" writing along with a little card that had the following prayer on it

                            Thinking of You

This morning as I rose from bed and saw the sun above

I softly said "Good Morning, God, bless everyone I love."

And right away I thought of you and said a loving prayer

That He would bless you specially and keep you free from care.

I thought of all the happiness your day could hold in store;

And wished it all for you, because no one deserves it more.

I felt so warm and good inside, my heart was all aglow-

I know God heard my prayer for you, He hears them all you know.

If that wasn't a God moment, I don't know what is.

I opened up the bible and found some dried roses that my mother must have put in it long ago.  What an awesome feeling, to touch something that she touched.  I decided to start reading the bible and began with Matthew.  Strange how we can read something and it is just words and then we can read the same thing again and every word is meaningful.  

Took little Toby for a walk which thrilled him.  I recalled during this walk my many other walks through the neighborhood over the years.  I especially recalled that I used to feel so close to my dad and Donnie during these walks.  Today I thought, here I go again, now mama is with them.  It didn't make me sad, it comforted me.

Next, yoga.  I really love yoga.  Mind you I only do gentle, stretching yoga.  However, I bought a chair and am getting ready to do some new yoga stretches.  

Don't know where I am with this 20 minutes, but I feel like I could write forever.  I think I am having a little ADD trouble.  I went off of the anti-depressants that I have been taking since mom got really sick and my doctor thought I needed them.  So, I am wondering if I am going to have to try really hard to keep myself grounded.  A problem that I seem to have is wanting to do 40 things at the same time.  Not being satisfied with what I accomplish but feeling that I haven't accomplished enough.  So, I am working on these things.  

Well, the timer is going off, so my 20 minutes is up,  Wow, that went quickly.

One more thing, please say a special prayer today for a darling little girl that I love.  Chris and Aimee's foster child is having surgery on her ear today.  A complete ear drum replacement.  Next month she has to have the other one.  Keep all of them in your prayers.  

Namaste:)

My surprise

I am still "wowed" by the wonderful surprise I received last week.  I had been expecting pictures of the twins in the mail.  Chris kept asking me if I had received them and it made me smile that he was so anxious.  When someone told me that there was a package by the door, I was so excited and knew it was my pictures.  Well, it was a pretty big box, hum.  I opened it and thought about what could be in that computer box.   Assuming Chris has tons of computer boxes around the house,  I never really suspected that it was indeed a LAPTOP for me.  I was speechless and then couldn't shut off the tears.  Chris and Aimee sent me the laptop to thank me for coming to Phoenix and helping out.  I mean, I really needed to have my arm twisted to be there:)  I just wanted to post this because every time I see my laptop I shake my head and feel so loved and appreciated.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lack of posting

I know that I need to post.  Don't know why I haven't.  I have been in a bit of a funk lately.  I am coming out of it though and will post soon.  As if it really matters, ha!

Changes...................

Here we go again.  Changes are not necessarily bad but sometimes I would like to have things stay the same for awhile.  Jessie and Charlie have moved out.  She moved the middle of last week and Charlie left yesterday.  I am trying to focus on what to do next and get started but a part of me wants to just sit.  Roger and Rooster will be arriving on Thursday so that motivates me somewhat.  Don't get me wrong, I know that Jessie wanted to be on her own and I am ok with that.  She has moved into a really nice house here with 2 friends.  There is another dog named Homer for Charlie to play with.  I am just a bit lonely this morning.  Even though I didn't see too much of Jessie I miss knowing she is here.  I have gotten used to Charlie wanting me to take him out and play with the tennis balls every morning.  I am sure that they will visit from time to time so that will be good.  Since Jessie needed her things out of the warehouse and garage we were able to remove the rest of mom's belongings from the warehouse.  It was kind of like closing another chapter.  I am keeping her dining room set in my garage.  I just can't part with it yet.  I keep thinking that some day I will live in a house in the mountains and the set will be perfect there.  Who knows??????  Thursday will be the anniversary of mom's death.  I can't believe it has already been a year.  I miss her terribly.  Sometimes I just want to beat the walls and scream but I don't.  I will get through it.  I have many things to keep me happy.  

I had a message on the answering machine last night  from the oldest foster child that Chris and Aimee have.  I hate to call her that but I can't use her name.   She said, "Hi Grammy, I miss you."   AWWWWW my heart just melted.  I really miss her and her little sister too.  They are so sweet and truly touched my heart.  I will never forget them.  I hope that I will be able to see them again.  

Speaking of seeing them again.  I want to see Olivia and Sarah so badly, it is just about making me crazy.  I don't even know how to put into words the feeling I have about that.  When I see pictures of them there is just an aching inside of me:(  Boo hoo.  Well, I should stop acting like a cry baby and be happy that all is going well and they are doing fine.)  Yesterday though, I was able to show my pictures to some people that I haven't seen since I got home.  I just love whipping that little book out of my purse, the ultimate "grandmother" move, ha!  

Tomorrow is Pat's birthday, yes St. Patrick's Day.  I am really excited about his birthday.  Chris has instigated a wonderful surprise for him and I can't wait to see his reaction.  I'll post about it after the fact.  

Don't even know if anyone reads this but I have to say it feels good just to blog and get things out of my system.  Thanks Chris for setting this up for me.  

 

Quick Post

We had a wonderful visit with Jeff, his wife Stacey and some of my other grandchildren, Shelby, Kyle and Lindsey.  I will post pics and some stories as soon as I can get the pics from my camera to the computer.  There are some sort of issues that I have to resolve.  So, look for that soon.  I have been sick :( since they left so I have to start catching up on things now that I am feeling somewhat better.  

On a sadder note, my Uncle Melvin (daddy's brother) passed away in Tennessee.  His funeral is today, which is the anniversary of my dad's death:(  I'm trying not to be too sad but it is kind of hard.  Last year I just knew that my mom was going to pass away on this day.  She didn't but did on March 19th.  I keep telling myself not to dwell on these things as life must go on and I have SO much to be thankful for.  Don't even know why I am putting this on my blog, this is my wonderful, happy blog.  I need to continue to think about my beautiful, wonderful grandchildren, all of them.  I am so lucky.  I just wish that all of them didn't live so far away.  "So far away, doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?"  Ha, wonder if anyone reading this knows that old Carol King song?  Anyway, enough of that.  

On a happy note, brother Roger and nephew "Rooster" will be arriving from Tennessee on the 19th.  Can't wait for that:)  A good day to all.

Pup Dogs, Jessie and the "clock"

OK, the first thing that I have to say is that I am SO FRUSTRATED.  I have been trying to edit this post and rearrange the pictures so that they would go along with the story.  However, I can't seem to get it figured out and I am getting a headache.  So, just check out the photos and read the story and it will all fit.  I will learn how to do this, just not today.  

So, I am back to being "Gramma" to these two guys.  Talk about Mutt and Jeff, ha!  The little guy is Toby and the big guy is Charlie.  Toby was mama's and Charlie is Jessie's.  We have a ritual every morning.  We go outside in the backyard and I throw tennis balls to Charlie.  He needs to run off some of his energy.  Toby just enjoys being outside.  Charlie is only 2 years old and Toby is 12 or 13, can't remember.  They are fun to have around.  Jessie rescued Charlie from a shelter in Tampa when he was a pup.  He was the runt of the litter.  I'd sure hate to see the others.  When I find the time I'll post some of his puppy pictures, they are adorable.

  Guess you can tell that I am missing my grandchildren:(  Speaking of which, I am anxious to get pictures so that I can get them up on the "wall" in the family room.   For those of you who don't know, I will tell you the story of "the wall".  Our family room has a strange angle with a long wall.  There have always been pictures (family) on this long wall.  Comments have been made over the years by all of the children that so and so has more pictures, where's my picture??  You get the idea.  Oh, by the way, in the middle of this wall is a clock that Pat has had for oh, around 30 years.  This clock has not been one of my favorite things but I have never taken it down.  Hum, I should post a picture of the lovely thing.  Anyway, Pati came over a couple of days ago.  I was thinking about moving a large picture that I have over the couch into the living room.  It would replace a mirror set that has also been here for 30 years that I wasn't too fond of either.  Well, you know how women are, we got started and all it took was a little encouragement for me to decide to take THE CLOCK down and also take down all of the pictures.  Ok, the picture of the clock is by Charlie's picture.  I don't have time to figure out how to move it, ha!  Anyway, we had a wonderful afternoon moving things around.  We arranged pictures on the wall and moved the clock into the hall.  (Where you couldn't really see it.)  Pati was anxious to leave before Pat go home, ha!  It took him awhile but he finally noticed that the clock was missing.  He took it rather well and the only problem was that he had been looking there at that clock for 30 years and that is what bothered him.  So, we compromised and I put up a different clock.  Last night I took down all of the pictures and am waiting for Jessie to help me arrange "the wall" again.  Pat says that I'm not kidding anyone, the whole rearranging thing really got started so that I can put lots of pictures of the girls up.  BUSTED.  Mentioning getting the pictures of Olivia and Sarah is what got this whole story started, hee hee!  

Speaking of Jessie helping me arrange the pictures.  I have to tell you, she should be a decorator.  She is very talented.   I hope to get her to help me redecorate the bathroom sometime this spring.  I'm going to try to post some pictures of my beautiful daughter now.  Hopefully they won't be at the top of this but if you see a beautiful girl, that's my Jessie:)

BEAUTIFUL GRANDDAUGHTERS

                                                       

I just can't take my eyes off of my beautiful granddaughters.  I want to hold them again.  I miss them terribly.  Don't know how I'm gonna deal with this.  There really aren't adequate words so just enjoy the beauty.

BACK HOME

Got back home yesterday afternoon.  I was really happy to see Pat and Jessie.  Seeing them made me realize that I had been away from them for quite some time.  It was good to see Charlie and Toby too.  Pat, Jessie and I went to Carrabba's for dinner.  That was fun.  After we got home the three of us played poker for awhile.  Pat beat us every time.  Guess I've lost my poker skills.  

It is really funny to see all of the Christmas stuff still in the house, ha!  I kind of like it, maybe I'll just leave it up.  Uh, not.  I'll get it all down in due time.  No need to knock myself out, I'll get it done.

Chris and the girls called me last night.  That was so sweet.  I already miss all of them.  I have to get my pictures made and hung up around the house.  

Gotta run, things to do around here.  

TENNIS SERVING DISH

I WALKED INTO MY ROOM ONE AFTERNOON AND THIS DISH WAS ON MY BED WITH A NOTE THAT SAID I (HEART) U.  WE HAD SEEN IT A COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE AND HE SURPRISED ME WITH IT:)  WHAT A SWEETHEART.  I AM SO BLESSED WITH GREAT CHILDREN.

PINKIES CHRIS AND SARAH

LAST DAY IN PHOENIX

So, today is the day.  It is so strange how our emotions can play havoc with us.  I am feeling so many different emotions today.  Part of me wants to cry because I know that the next time I see my granddaughters they will be so different.  The fact that I will miss being with them and watching them grow can almost be overwhelming.  But, people do it every day.  I will survive,  I will treasure the memories and look forward to the next time that I get to see them.  One good thing about this computer age we live in, is that I will see pictures constantly and can even see them when we talk on Skype.  So, that is cool.  I am so fortunate that I have been able to spend this time with all of them.  SO, SHAKE IT OFF CRY BABY!!!!

On the other hand, I am excited that I will get to hug my honey tomorrow afternoon.  I am surprised that he has missed me so badly.  I have missed him too but I have had distractions here.  Namely, one Olivia Mae and Sarah Rose:)  I am looking forward to seeing everyone at home.  I have missed them.  I am kind of anxious to see how my plants have grown.  What a dumb thing, ha!  You have to know that after mom died I spent all of my time outside working in the yard like a crazy woman.  Loosing mama and Ronda was so difficult for me.  I really enjoyed digging in the earth and planting new things.  

Yesterday I spent the morning out in Chris and Aimee's front yard, trimming, raking, etc.  I really enjoyed that.  They have bird of paradise plants which I really like.  I think I'll have to plant one at home.  They also have the most beautiful rose bush.  I'll take a picture and post it.  

So, tonight will be a special night.  I bought a birthday gift for the 3 year old.  Her birthday is the 13th.  She is nuts about Dora so I bought her a Dora doll and book.  I'm gonna give it to her tonight.  I also bought the girls valentines and some heart candy.  Ok, grammy is spoiling them a bit.  I will really miss those girls.  I love them.  They have touched my heart and I will always have a special feeling about them. 

Enough, my posts are too lengthy.  My next post will be from the east coast.  

SWEET SARAH

                    

OLIVIA TA DA

PROUD PAPA - DOUBLE TROUBLE

OLIVIA TOO CUTE

Olivia so tiny.....

Last Weekend

I had a wonderful weekend.  I took the girls (the foster children) to a movie and then lunch at the mall.  I really love those girls, they are so sweet.  They seem to be enjoying having me as their grammy.  Every night they ask me if I will be getting them up in the morning.  

 I spent precious time with Olivia and Sarah, feeding and holding them.  I am savoring every moment as I am leaving on Friday to go back home.  It will be way too long before I will get to hold them again:(  They seem to be growing right before my eyes.  I am loving being their grammy and look forward to the years ahead with them.  

So, I feel like I am sort of preparing to leave.  Feels sort of like I need to cram as much in as possible.  I made Chris muffins that my mom used to make him and cupcakes for the girls.  I have a roast, potatoes and carrots to cook for dinner tonight.  Hum, is cooking what I do to make people happy?  Ha!  

The Saga Continues

I went to the birthing class with Chris and Aimee where I met their awesome midwife, Ellen.  Chris said that I would really like her as she was a "hippie".  This leads me to believe that he thinks I was once a hippie, ha!  Ok, I guess I was a bit of a hippie in my day:)  After class she saw Aimee and we left there thinking that the twins would be arriving any day.  

We had a false alarm one night.  That was an experience.  It was really cold here and I couldn't stop shaking walking into the hospital.  Don't think it was all the cold weather but a bit of nervousness.  Chris was trying so hard to be calm and collected.  It was really cute watching both of them.  After awhile they had Aimee walk around the unit.  We all three walked and walked and walked.  She had contraction after contraction but to no avail.  They sent her home about 3 a.m.   Actually, it was a good trial run for all of us.  We realized what we needed to do for the real thing.  

Chris and Aimee put he girls (I am referring to the foster children) in respite care for a week.  Respite care is where a family cares for them while the foster family goes out of town or whatever.  Please don't think I am being cold by referring to them as "the foster children".  Due to privacy issues I can't use their names or post any pictures.  I have fallen in love with them and will be sad to leave them when I go home.  

After Aimes was told to walk, honey we hit the streets.  We walked around the block, we walked in the mall, she walked around the block again with Chris.  Hum, I was beginning to think we had some stubborn little baby girls in there.  

Finally, on Thursday, January 15th, we headed to the hospital.  Chris and Aimee honored me by asking me to be with them during the labor.  We went to the labor and delivery room which was awesome.  Sure has changed since I had my children.  It was a large, beautiful room complete with huge tub with jets, built-in bed for the daddy and a large chair that folded out for the grammie.  Aimee endured intense contractions that were very close together all night.  She was awesome.  The next afternoon at 2:47 OLIVIA MAE WICKERSHAM entered this world.  She was 19 inches and weighed 5 lbs. 6 oz.  At 2:57 SARAH ROSE WICKERSHAM followed her sister into this world.  She was 18.5 inches and weighed 4 lbs. 13 oz.  I stepped out at the last minute.  I was scheduled to pick Aimee's mom (Sherry) up at the airport.  I decided that I'd better leave because I had never driven to the airport and was a little unsure of myself driving in the big city of Phoenix.  About 5 minutes after I left Aimee called and said, "where are you?"  The nurse and Ellen had been looking for me.   As it turned out, the two grandmas got to see their new twin granddaughters at the same time which was kind of cool.  We were hugging and crying in the airport like two ole babbling grammas, ha!

Aimee was holding Olivia when we got back to the hospital.  Of course, both were beautiful.  Little Sarah had been taken to the nursery.  She had some issues because she was small.  We saw Sarah shortly thereafter.  Sarah was also beautiful.  They were both so tiny.  I can't even describe the feeling that I had when I looked at them.  Those of you that are also grammas know the feeling.

On Monday, Aimee and Olivia got to come home.  On Sunday evening, Chris and I picked up the foster children and brought them back home.  It was quite a hectic household in one respect but in another it was calmer than I thought it would be.  Aimee settled right into being a mom and Chris was the perfect daddy as well.   

We were all concerned about Sarah.  We were told that she was going to be fine, she just needed some time.  It was hard for me to leave her at the hospital so I know it was really difficult for Chris and Aimee.  We had up and down days.  Chris went to the hospital every morning after dropping the girls off at day care and school.  Aimee went in the afternoon and then one of them went back in the evening.   Sarah progressed and was able to come home quicker than we really expected.  Now both girls are here and all is well.

Oh, did I mention that I am having a wonderful time holding, feeding, changing and loving on my sweet baby granddaughters?  I'm trying to savor every moment now as my time to leave is drawing near.  I miss Pat and Jessie and home but I know that when I leave it will tear my heart out.  I know that Chris and Aimee will post lots of pictures and try to blog as much as possible.   That will help, but Phoenix is SO far away:(  I am enjoying my time with Chris and Aimee.  Chris has become quite a cook, I am impressed.  I'm taking some of his recipes home.  

Well, time for yoga and a little exercise before I start my day.  Namaste.

OLIVIA PRETTY IN PINK

Olivia. Pretty in pink
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

WOW, what a surprise!

This morning Chris had me sit down at the computer and said he wanted to show me something.  This is what he showed me.  He put this together for me and now I suppose I am going to officially be a "blogger".  Imagine that........ I will have to do some catching up on the happenings of, hum, I suppose this year. 

 Since December 31st my life has changed in some truly awesome ways.  On New Year's eve I was on a plane flying out to Phoenix.  It seems that my granddaughters decided that they were just about ready to enter this world.  Chris and Aimee wanted me to come out as soon as possible.  So,  now you understand why I said the happenings of this year.  I have been here in Phoenix with them since New Year's eve.  

After arriving in Phoenix and meeting Chris and Aimee's darling foster children I became "grammy".  The twins decided that maybe they weren't quite ready for this world yet.  So, I was able to settle in and spend time helping Chris and Aimee with a few things.  Chris and I painted the babies' room a soft, warm, happy yellow.  Aimee and I shopped and she finished getting things for decorating the room.  It was wonderful spending time with them while Aimee was still pregnant.  I was able to share in the excitement and anticipation with them.  More later.

Welcome!

This is my first post.